By: Blonde Two

Although I do understand a fair bit of written German (nowhere near enough spoken), I am also enjoying the quirkiness of some of the translations into English that we have come across.  Google is particularly good at this, producing such wondrous phrases as, “The Tux valley is a dream in white.” and “a burgeoning Zillertal gastronomy scene.”

Be aware of your shape” though is my favourite so far and represents very good Blonde advice, you are probably wondering where I read it.

It would have been useful in the outdoor clothing store where I found a pair of bright pink checked shorts that would have fitted my capacious backside … “Be aware of your shape Blonde Two“.

I might have chosen to heed the advice when I was perusing the range of Wurstchen and Kartoffelsalat in the Spar shop … “Be aware of your shape Blonde Two“.

In actual fact, this advice was part of a collection of very sensible and apparently international advice about walking in the mountains – leave a note, take warm clothes etc.

I had thought before today’s chosen walk that I was “aware of my shape” (I think they were talking about fitness).  It was only 200 metres ascent on an “easy” trail up to the Tuxerjoch Haus but as I progressed past jangling cows (more about them another day), alpine flowers (and more about them) and winking workmen (I shall keep quiet about them), I quickly got to a point where I decided that my shape was not at all what I thought it was.  Imagine a triangle finding out that he was a square after all, and you would have Alpine Blonde Two’s level of confusion and disappointment.

I could make lots of excuses for my lack of “shape” awareness but as I was not high enough up (2300m) to blame the altitude, I am going to put it down to the different muscle groups (and apparently lung proportions) needed when climbing mountains instead of wading through Dartmoor bogs.  The climb to Tuxerjoch Haus (despite the shape disappointment) was definitely worth it and I will be working on my “shape” some more this week.Tuxerjoch Haus