By: Blonde Two
Blonde One and I had a Foxtor Cafe meeting on Saturday. It was great fun and long overdue particularly as we arrived without an official agenda. This was not a problem for the Blondes though. We discovered that, despite having an awful lot to talk about, we could order agenda items as we were speaking. It went something like this;
B2 “Yesterday I went … no wait, you finish and then after we have talked about whatever we are going to say after you have finished, I will tell you about the other thing to do with the thing.”
B1 “I didn’t tell you about the, have I told you about the, no I haven’t because I haven’t seen you, how did that happen? … anyway, the … started to … oh by the way, oh no, wait a minute, lets talk about that after the … and then the thing about the thing will make more sense …”
I am sure that it would have sounded like manic nonsense to any eavesdropper but it made complete sense to us. I suppose it was a bit like talking in code. Imagine if there had been spies at Foxtor Cafe. They would have been brunettes of course (redheads stand out from the crowd too much), they would have avoided sitting in any of the “Positions of Power” and would, undoubtedly have been shocked to hear us talk of Blonde Baps. They would have been disguised as DofE leaders, scribbled incomprehensible notes onto their waterproof notebooks and left frustrated only to get into a lot of trouble from their internet mogul (not the cold lumps of snow) bosses for not gaining any useful Two Blondes intel.
On my 2011 circuit of Wales walk I eavesdropped in a café on two elderly guys rabbiting away ostensibly in Welsh with occasional English interjections. Curious about the mixed use of languages I contrived to chat to them and asked why. They told me they had been speaking in English all the time.
If The Two Blondes have heavy accents it would likely confuse the enemy even more.
When a student in Wales (many, many moons ago) I had digs in a house with 5 children, a dog and a cat. Father spoke only Welsh. Mother could not speak Welsh at all. Children spoke neither language properly. Not sure about the cat, but the dog lived in the coal-hole and was too busy removing coal dust from its coat to have time to speak.
Blondes? Red heads?Brunettes? Did you forget the Silvers? (A force to be reckoned with!)
And the brindles!