By: Blonde Two
Dear Dartmoor Blondes
Thank you for yesterday’s sheep questions. The flock and I would like to take this opportunity to answer them (Blonde Sheep):
1. Do sheep have a night time routine? Yes, we Dartmoor sheep do have a night time routine. It is probably the same as yours; eat – wee – poo – snooze – wee – snore – poo – wee – wake – eat. We try to sleep when it is dark but find that human light pollution often prevents this.
2. Is there a hierarchy of which sheep to follow? Personally, I only follow the good looking sheep, and avoid those with dangly bits hanging off their bottoms. You probably avoid people like that too.
3. Do you wonder what is in the field next door? Of course we do. Sheep are just like people, they always think that the grass is greener on the other side of the wall. The difference is that sheep eat the grass whether it is green or not (deep sheep-metaphor-thing!)
4. When you climb over the wall, are you pleased with your efforts? It rather depends on how good looking the ram is on the other side!
5. Do you communicate with other sheep about the best grass to eat? We only communicate with other sheep if they are proper Dartmoor sheep. We don’t like funny accents.
6. What’s the best thing about being a sheep? Sheep are super-intelligent, super-organised and super-good at planning. Being a sheep is a bit like being a Blonde, only warmer.
7. Do you ever wonder why two legged creatures sit in a box and watch you? We don’t need to wonder. We know exactly what you Bondes are doing and saying. I like your truck and did you enjoy your coffee?
8. What do you think about when you first wake up? Brad Pitt usually, or chocolate cake if it the wrong time of the month.
Thanks for asking
Sheep 600,574,532,444,213
We have it on good authority that “sheep may safely graze” – check it out in George Frideric’s best-known work. I haven’t a clue whether that fits in here but the word “may” is propitious, an augury perhaps. It could well be the subjunctive form; if it is I’m cock-a-hoop at 07.33 in the morning. If it isn’t then that’s proof I’m no grammarian. “Hack” will suffice.
‘Cock-a-hoop’ required me to do some investigation just then. Opinions on its origin appear to be divided and not at all related to the more modern possible explanation!
A cheeky morning to you!
I have the piano music which, with my playing skills, means that the sheep aren’t quite as safely grazing as they might have otherwise been!
Mmm. Mint Sauce.
Shhh, they’ll hear you!
Offside Report
Interpretation of Sheepish – Outstanding.
Why thank you!!
a sheepish anecdote:
on a greetings card in a tea shop in the North Pennines:
teacher: there are 13 sheep in a field: one finds a hole in the wall and goes through: 3 others follow: how many are left in the field, Johnny ?
Johnny: none
teacher: wrong, please wake up and give the proper answer, nine.
Johnny: you may know maths, Miss, but you know nowt about sheep.
Sheep evening routine also includes shouting for their lambs to stop running round and be close to them.