By: Blonde Two
The other day, I had reason to post a letter. The nearest postbox to chez Blonde Two is just over one kilometre away. I know this because I am mildly obsessive about measuring distances; and on a bimbling day, a kilometre generally takes me fifteen minutes.
I very nearly drove there. This, we all know, would have been a very bad thing. I had three most excellent reasons for said motoring-cop-out:
1. I had just been to the gym and was ‘tired’ (even I noticed the irony in that!)
2. I might have missed last the post of the day (I had no idea when that was.)
3. I couldn’t decide which shoes to wear. (Bad shoe choice + two kilometres = blister ).
Yes I know, probably the worst attempt at justification that any of us have ever seen. I couldn’t even convince myself … so I did the right thing and walked; and then the post van drove straight past me.
‘Typical’ I thought, ‘I was right, I am going to miss the post. I should have driven.’
But then a strange thing happened. The post van stopped, white lights came on and it started reversing towards me. When he drew level, the postman (please resist the temptation to name him ‘Pat’ or even ‘Peter’) leaned towards me and opened up the postbag.
‘You posting?’ Was his question. He had spotted that I was carrying a letter in the direction of the postbox, and that I was about to miss the last post. So I gave him my letter, a winning Blonde smile and some very effusive thanks; and turned around and walked back home.
So you see, it was the right decision to walk. If I hadn’t, I would have missed that opportunity to experience the milk of human kindness, and feel very, very good about the world!
Postbox image – Roine Johansson (www.flickr.com)
That is a brilliant post for several reasons, not least as an illustration of how that “other parson” in our heads is always trying to take over.
I have just read Jekyll and Hyde which has a relevance. Apparently it is a set book for daughter’s GCSE pupils. I wish them well, it is not an easy text, but certainly worthwhile even though I have never been enthusiastic about fantasy stories.
Sorry, “person”
Suggesting that Blonde Two may be a name with more than one meaning: two personalities within one carcase, both at odds. But then why stop at two: as Walt Whitman said, “I contain multitudes”.
On this occasion the physical Goodie Twoshoes won out and Miss Lassitude (also known as Miss Odalisque) was left behind with only Emmerdale for comfort.
Occasionally Miss L/Miss O triumphs but given your posts I suspect the ratio is a mere 1:20, possibly as unfavourable as 1:50. But I suspect too the ratio changes with age and it may be necessary for you to conduct what the French call un sondage in another forty years’ time. Needless to say I speak from experience; my Monsieur Plus-Fort long ago retired to the Dordogne to play bridge and I am presently in the thrall of Monsieur Paresseux. My life is no longer sedentary but virtually comatose. I mean I may say I sit down to write fiction but here I am doing a comment full of gritty truth. Let’s exchange further info in 2055.
Just passing by.
Always up for a good old ‘sondage’! J’ai vraiment hate de 2055.
Followed your example.
Thunderstorms and lightning, but bright in between.
Stuck in house.
In spite of weather, decided to walk 2 miles (and 2 miles back) to Holgates caravan site for tea and cake.
Marched hard, thinking about tea and cake all the way.
Arrived. Storms have caused power cut. No tea and cake
March back home.
Not feeling virtuous, just cheesed off.
Oh no (although I apologise for giggling) – this should be entitled, ‘Reasons not to Walk’. Never listen to a Blonde Conrad!
I have a lovely postman too – he bangs on the front room window if I don’t hear him knock on the front door. He knows either K9 will wake up and speak, or I will (literally) drop what I am doing and arrive gasping to see what on earth is happening. Well, you can’t have a doorbell if K9 woofs every time one goes off on the telly. It upsets the equilibrium of the neighbours.