By: Blonde Two
I often take a train up to Malvern at this time of year. It was my Mum’s birthday yesterday.
I realised this year that I have been doing the journey so long that the Navy boys (and girls), who always seem to be going home from Plymouth on the same train as me, are no longer suitable material for a bit of mild flirtation; in fact, they are all now younger than my own children.
It will be no surprise for you to hear that travelling by train is not them same as walking across Dartmoor, but I had a lot of time on my hands yesterday and came up with a few comparisons:
1. On Dartmoor, you never have to reserve your seat. I have never had occasion to approach someone and say, “Excuse me, I think you are sitting on my tor.”
2. On Dartmoor, if you happen to put your rucksack down, nobody dumps a pile of heavy suitcases on top of it.
3. On Dartmoor, there is a type of automatic toilet flush (we call it rain), but you get to choose whether or not you are prepared to get a wet bottom.
4. On Dartmoor the worry that you are going to be exposed to the world as the electronic toilet door rolls open is taken away. No need to worry out on the moors, exposure is guaranteed!
5. On Dartmoor, you know where the coffee is going to be. It is always (unless she has succumbed to Ribena) in Blonde One’s rucksack.
6. On Dartmoor, you get to choose how long you wait at each tor. If you like it, you can have a little snooze, if you don’t, you can walk straight on by. There are no annoying announcements each time you approach a tor. “This hike is about to arrive at Yes Tor, please mind the gap and make sure that you take all of your belongings with you. Yes Tor, this is Yes Tor!”
I suppose, it would have taken me a very long time to walk up to see Mum. I would have had to risk several exposures, a wet bottom and a sad lack of coffee but it would have been peaceful and my rucksack, though wet, would have remained un-squashed. Maybe next year!
It doesn’t take much (not that I think your post is trivial) to set me off – I’ve just had to hold myself back from plotting yet another backpacking route on Memory Map from Dartmoor to Malvern which would add to the spider’s web of routes already there, some walked and many just wishful thinking.
Why is your coffee in Blonde One’s rucksack? Is she solely responsible for coffee, in which case I assume you both harmonise with its makeup? Has Blonde One ever forgotten the coffee?
My sister and I were discussing the route last night. I quite like the idea but would insist on crossing Exmoor, Dartmoor and the Malverns on the way.
Blonde One drinks coffee not tea. I always have tea on the moor but like coffee in the cafe! She usually has coffee in her flask but occasionally takes hot Ribena in case youngsters (who often dislike coffee) should need warming up. Hot Ribena is really not as good as either coffee or tea!
I couldn’t help it. Here is my plan which incorporates your preference to cross Dartmoor and Exmoor. For the satisfaction of completing The Two Moors Way you might as well do that to its conclusion at Lynmouth, although it takes you somewhat west of the direct line.
Two Moors Way to Lynton
Follow Andy Robinson’s End to End Trail (Cicerone Press) to Bristol.
Severn Way (download route from Long Distance Walkers Assoc. website or buy a guide).
Optional: Short cut from Frampton-on-Severn via Gloucester and Sharpness Canal to Gloucester
Then back onto Severn Way to Ashleworth and pick up Three Choirs Way to finish over Malverns and to Great Malvern.
Excellent, did you get an idea of how long it would take? 🙂 Thank you!
Wow! Now that would be a walk! You could take in Eastern Dartmoor, the Brendon Hills on Exmoor, a bit of the coastal path of North Devon, then the Severn Estuary,and Slimbridge, perhaps a smidgeon of the Forest of Dean, then the Herefordshire hop fields, and a quick bimble over the top of the Malverns! You should make it in time for breakfast – – – (though there’s always that lovely Ribena if you get late.)
Hee – I should have read Conrad’s route before I jumped in! I have half a mind to try that one day.
I reckon it would take about 24 days.