By: Blonde Two

The Two Blondes had an evening mission last night.  We were going to pick up some camping equipment that had kindly been donated to our young people via the fabulous Gift Your Gear scheme.

Being Blonde, we couldn’t have a mission somewhere sensible like the middle of Dartmoor.  Our mission was into the deep, dark depths (deep-depths are really bad) of the South Hams (land of lovely and expensive real-estate).

With a lack of a suitable map, we printed out some instructions but decided to engage the sat nav on B1’s phone.  This, I had to admit, did involve a certain amount of initial fumbling around on my part. Important things like, ‘which way up does it go’ and ‘how to put it down without it turning off’ had to be sorted out.

The journey went well with Mrs Sat Nav giving clear and excellent directions.  Until, that is, as we turned into the dark South Hams lanes, I took a phone call from Tent-Giving-Lady to say that we should, “Ignore the sat nav if it told us to turn right.”  She gave us other useful instructions such as, “Keep the church on your right.” and, “Keep the sea on your left.” and I responded with lots of knowledgeable sounding “Yes” and “Okay” noises.

Unfortunately, Tent-Giving-Lady hadn’t realised that she was speaking to a Blonde with Car-Navigation-Issues.  As soon as she hung up (such a quaint expression), I realised that I had forgotten which out of the church and sea should be on the left and which on the right.

There obviously (and very Blondly) ensued a large amount of giggling, some raised stress levels and a couple of wrong turns.  One of the issues was that it was dark and, although the church (on the right for the second attempt through the village) was obvious, the sea was apparently invisible.

The invisibility of the sea was worrying as, during attempt one, we appeared to drive down a lane that didn’t exist on the sat nav screen. The screen, and indeed the landscape, appeared to indicate that we were driving into a grey nothing.  That is, until the all-knowing device suddenly showed us lots and lots of blue right at the end of the road down which we were travelling.

We still didn’t get to see the sea, despite the sat nav telling us that we had driven into it, because that lane turned out to be dead-end number one.

You will be pleased to know that we Blondes a)  Survived.  b)  Picked up the equipment (thanks Tent-Giving-Lady) and c)  Eventually found a pub for tea.

Upon reflection (important part of any expedition), we decided that we had made two mistakes.  Mistake number one was not actually reading the printed instructions before we set off.  Mistake number two was allocating the task of navigation to the Blonde with Car-Navigation-Issues!