By: Blonde Two

Blonde One and I accomplished young ladies; but we are both particularly hopeless at the business of jokes. If you can think of the end of the one in this title; do please share it. In the meantime; Blonde Two has indeed gone to New Zealand, is sitting in her bed watching the (fox-free) bunnies running around the farm lawn; and looking forward to a day of bonfires and cousin visiting (rain has just arrived on cue – some things are still quite British here!)

DSC_5302On the (very, very long) way here, I did some counting (all on my own!) Here is what it takes to get a Blonde to New Zealand, in descending order:

Miles Travelled: 11569.96

Tannoy Announcements: 50

Hours Travelled: 36

Ticket Checks: 17

Hours Slept: 15

Loo Visits: 12

Number of Loos: 8

Music Tracks: 8

Shops Visited: 7

Escalators Travelled: 6

Travelators Avoided: 6

Meals Eaten: 6

Ear Plugs Worn: 6

Bottles of Water: 5 (more about this later)

Train Platforms: 5

Films Watched: 4

Perfumes Squirted on Scarf: 4

Security Checks (including bio-security): 3

Trains: 3

Airports: 3

Travelators Actually Ridden: 3

Blonde Two Grumps: 3

Ear Plugs Lost: 2 (don’t ask me where!)

Cars: 2

Lifts: 2

Cardigans Lost: 1 (somewhere at Heathrow)

Headaches: 1 (it was quite a long one)

Books Read: 1

Pages of Books Read: 1

Newpapers Read: 1

So, quite a concerted effort on behalf of Mr B2, First Great Western, Air New Zealand and Uncle Norman! But here I am and looking at my new morning bedroom view, it was definitely worth it, so thanks to everyone! (Yes, even you, shouty Los Angeles security man!)