By: Blonde Two
Am I going to Widecombe Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Remember me to Old Uncle Tom Cobley,
Because I can’t remember the words of this rhyme!
Dear Mr Pearce
Allow me to introduce myself; I am Blonde and have long been a fan of Dartmoor. I am hoping to attend this year’s Widecombe Fair and sign copies of my most recent (and most excellent) children’s story.
You may have heard of ‘The Non-Story of Ignatius Bowerman’ on social media; no wait a minute, maybe not. I am aware that you have broadband issues on the moor, and that the internet hasn’t yet been officially invented. Anyway, my children’s story is about a landmark near to Widecombe called Bowerman’s Nose. You must surely have ridden past this fine rock formation in year’s past on your way to Widecombe Fair; with Bill Brewer, Jan Stewer, Peter Gurney, Peter Davey, Daniel Whiddon, Harry Hawke and my Uncle,Tom Cobley?
The reason that I am writing to you is that I understand you have a most excellent grey mare that is available for hire. I need to hire your mare because the park and ride arrangements for Widecombe Fair are going to make it very difficult for me and my many books to get there. I am certain that such a fine beast as your mare (does she have a name?) would be able to carry myself and a couple of boxes of books.
I am aware that you have had problems in the past, with people not returning your mare to you. I can promise you faithfully that I will have her home by ‘Friday soon’ or ‘Saturday noon’ and that I will keep her safely stabled behind the Sexton’s Cottage, where I will be signing books. If you are in doubt that I can achieve this, please be assured that I will not be travelling alone; I will be accompanied by the fine fellowship of Bill Brewer, Jan Stewer, Peter Gurney, Peter Davey, Daniel Whiddon, Harry Hawke and my Uncle,Tom Cobley (to whom, by the way, my book has been dedicated).
I do hope Tom (may I call you Tom?) that you will listen to my case and allow me to hire your mare. Although I have not ridden for a long time, I have recently been told that I look pretty good in a pair of jodhpurs. I also understand that you have an eye for the ladies.
I look forward to hearing from you soon, and have a carrot waiting for your mare.
‘All along, out along, down along lea.’