By: Blonde Two
The world is a funny place. There I was last August, helping out on Norm’s New Zealand farm and fighting the good fight against his bamboo invasion. Have you ever had a bamboo bonfire? You should, the noise is exhilarating. Here I am this April in my (much smaller) UK garden, digging up bits of bamboo root in an attempt to spread it around.One man’s weed is obviously another Blonde’s garden. Or this strange alteration in bamboo attitude might just be because I currently resemble a slightly rouged panda. Two days of walking and three days of gardening whilst wearing my sunglasses (other items were also worn) has left my face with a somewhat patchy look to it. Imagine a tomato with wide, white stripes around the eyes, add some long blonde hair and you will get the picture.
My face will calm down in a day or two and I will be a lovely brown panda instead. Hopefully, I will be a lovely brown panda with lots of fresh bamboos shoots! I have considered painting the patches out with fake tan but that really wouldn’t be very Blonde and I am not sure that they do tanning shade cards to help me match the pinko-brown look that I appear to be going for.
The good news is that my sunglasses are still safely here and still safely in one piece. Only ?ten? (Blonde One is in charge of counting) expeditions to go!