By: Blonde Two
You may recall that the Two Blondes sometimes have problems finding a man to accompany them on their expeditions. I know a lady who believes that a girl needs a man for every occasion; a man for dancing, a man to choose the wine, a man for car repairs, a man for … (say no more). I am not sure if she is right or not (surely a girl with brains can either spot a man who can do all of that or learn how to do some of it herself). But before I burn my walking bra and become a complete feminist, (I like having doors opened for me), let me point out that we needed a man purely and simply just to be male and there overnight when we have male youngsters with us.
We have adopted a particularly accommodating version of the species for this series of summer expeditions and are very pleased with our choice. I will introduce him to you as The BW (aka The Bearded Wanderer). Unbeknownst to him, The BW has undergone a series of Blonde induction tests during our Exmoor practice expedition. These included; noticing when Blonde Two gives incorrect motorway exit instructions, unwrapping minibus sweets and feeding them to Blonde One, providing acceptable musical entertainment, understanding tyre pressures, not complaining when Blonde Two accidentally spits toffee into his water bottle and keeping his distance when the Two Blondes have been arguing (he is unlikely to ever have to do this again as in my memory, it has only happened once).
The BW passed all of these tests to an excellent standard. Not only this, but he surpassed himself with his ability in the skill of sleeping. The BW, it transpires, can sleep anywhere, at anytime and as often as life requires him to. We are envious of his ability but it makes him the most easy-going of companions! The other thing The BW is very good at is wandering off (hence the name). A Blonde can be walking along, chatting away and suddenly, The BW has disappeared, he is wandering again. The good news is that he always reappears just when we need him.
Wandering, reappearing and sleeping are all excellent expedition skills so we Blondes have decided that we will keep The BW for longer than this series of summer expeditions if he wants to extend his Blonde contract!