By: Blonde Two

I can probably count on my fingers (I have ten), the number of times Blonde One and I have actually spoken to each other on the telephone. (I can only think of one occasion when that speaking didn’t involve, ‘Where are you on the moor?’ type questions.)

The text department of my mobile phone however, is kept very busy communicating with B1. So much so that these days, it knows how to text her all on its own. If I type ‘Two’ the phone adds ‘Blondes’, if I type ‘eyes’, it knows that the next thing in the list will be ‘flask’ and if ‘Just’ is my first word, it knows that the message is ‘Just leaving … (insert Mr B2’s name for B1)’.

Sometimes we give each other cards. You know the sort of occasions, birthdays… Christmas… leaving the same job you left last time!

We are pretty good at telepathy.

Yesterday we Blondes were briefly out on Dartmoor. At the end of our visit, B1 handed me a piece of paper. On it was written the following words:

Look for flat tops of quarry, bracken + rowan, spot fenced area, meadow pipit, heather, gorse, pony, conifer, post (gate post) boundary (what’s inside, man-made thing), start of tramway, tare + feather rock, COW, skirt round edge of quarry, whortleberry, fence appearance, path up to tor, right-through gate, quarry ironwork, water lilies, out same gate, up to tor.

Some of you will, after nearly four years of devoted blog reading, be able to speak a bit of Blonde. If this is the case, you might be able to work out what we were up to. If you were an attendee at our cake-centred business meeting on Friday you will know.

I find myself wondering how many years it will be before Blondes evolve to a state where they don’t need speech at all.