By: Blonde Two

Should you ever plan to camp with the Two Blondes, there is one important fact you need to know beforehand.  Blonde Two cooks, Blonde One doesn’t.

As we Blondes are the perfect team, we really don’t need two people who can cook, in exactly the same way that we don’t need two people who can drive the minibus.  If you have ever spent a weekend with lots of women in one kitchen (I can feel you shuddering), you will understand the phrase, “Two many Blondes can spoil the Bolognese” perfectly.  I am pleased to say that I have never witnessed two women trying to drive the same vehicle but am fairly sure that, a) one of them wouldn’t be me, and b) they wouldn’t end up in the right place.

I am a very simple cook but am quite pleased with my credentials to date;  Scout camp cooking for a week for thirty (possibly the hardest I have ever worked), catering for sixty at a children’s holiday (a whole catering kitchen to myself), numerous Ten Tors breakfasts and winning a Guide Camp Cookery prize at a very tender age (entirely cooked over a wood fire).  Nobody ever went hungry on my watch (the constant availability of bread and butter is the key to this).

Blonde One says that she can’t cook but I have eaten a very nice casserole that she put together and survived the experience.  She has a rather odd understanding of the concept and once announced that slicing cheese counted as cooking.  Last week, she said, “Look, I have cooked you this.” as she handed me a ham sandwich.

Tomorrow we Two Blondes set off on our Isle of Man Gold DofE trip.  Blonde One will drive, I will cook (well the kids will for most of the time).  We will, of course, work in perfect harmony.  One thing is bothering me though.  We have a contingency plan in case Blonde One becomes ill and incapable of driving but may well starve (or get very fed up of ham sandwiches) should I become ill and incapable of cooking!