By: Blonde Two
Blonde One set me a challenge a couple of weeks ago. I am not sure if she realised at the time that she was doing so but I took it as such and it bothered my head until I came up with a solution. Here is the problem;
We Blondes had eight people (adults and bigger than adults), all of their kit, a giant tent (you wait until I show you), kitchen equipment and food for ten days to fit onto our minibus. This meant that the food needs to either not be bought before we travel or fit into a very small, neat space.
I went through all kinds of possibilities. I did, in fact, discover a whole new method of menu planning. With this new method, you must not consider tastiness, simplicity of cooking or nutrition, you must only think about space. Here are some examples;
1. Chicken – fine minced but never a whole one, think of all that wasted space between its ribs.
2. Sausages – quite good as they squash together but you have to be able to eat them without ketchup (this ability does not develop in humans until way past 20).
3. Bread – a really tricky one, bread squashes down well and can also be used as a pillow but the squashing renders it useless for eating.
4. Marrow – far too bulky and a silly example as I think I am the only person in the world who actually likes to eat it.
The solution to the problem, came to me, as most good Blonde solutions do, in the middle of the night (this would explain the current bags hovering under my eyes). Meals take up much more space in their uncooked state than they do in their cooked one. So on Monday I bought some ingredients, chopped them up so small that nobody could tell which vegetables were there (an important trick with teenagers), cooked them and froze them in plastic bags ready for the cool box.
Kind of like making baby food but hopefully more tasty. Boy we Blondes are good!
“you must not consider tastiness, simplicity of cooking or nutrition, you must only think about space.” In that case, merely pack sheets of cardboard.
Some other comments:
Minced chicken. Eaten only by invalids, in my experience. Hardly a morale booster for your companions.
Sausages. Buy better sausages that don’t need ketchup. Shop in Hereford – the sausage world is at our feet.
Bread. How about a naan?
Marrow. Food-free space would be better.
Your solutions. Of all the food forms that raise teenage suspicion, sludge is the most likely. Bonne chance!
Many of the competitors in the TGO Challenge pre-prepare dehydrated meals. You can buy the kit to do this yourself. The best exponents at this that I know are my good friends Mick and Gayle, veterans of countless long distance backpacking trips: http://gayleybird.blogspot.co.uk
They have been doing this for years so their experience should be invaluable, and I am sure they would be happy to give any info. you want.
I believe they used to feed chickens on the glue in recycled cardboard. That wouldn’t take much space.
I used the minced-up veggie trick with aged parent as well, though it was foiled by one of the so-called carers who thought she could get him to eat home-brewed casseroles with pretty vegetables of the more normal kind – foolish child!
I applaud her motive, but her method was doomed to failure!
Have you a roof-rack?
pot noodles. Empty them out into a sealable plastic bag, in (meal x people) portions note how much water you will need, take suitable sized saucepan, mark where water comes up to, make sure you have matches and stove, boil water, apply noodle mix, stir, feed! (If generous, allow two extra portions per meal) Note – blondes do not have to eat this teenage fodder, so secrete own meals in hidden part of minibus. (Spare wheel compartment?) Good luck! ps porridge can be cooked in similar fashion, remember salt, milk (powdered or evap) & sugar. xx Mum