By: Blonde One
Little Miss Blonde and I have recently been preparing a business plan to take to Samsung or Apple or some other telecoms giant. We have decided that the Blonde market needs a specific phone. We don’t have a very good track record of looking after phones in this house and Mr Blonde One gets a little bit frustrated I expect (especially as he is in the telecoms business!!!). We have decided that the reason that we keep breaking phones is not because we are careless but because they are poorly designed and not up to the Blonde job. We have got through numerous phones: dunked in cup of tea, dropped down toilet, left outside overnight in wet grass, dropped into snow, dropped onto concrete (this was the most dramatic as I managed to do it after only having the phone for 3 days!).
The most important feature of this phone would have to be that it bounces. Ideally it would have some sort of self catching feature as we are not so good at catching either. Alternatively it would release a parachute after bouncing off the floor to enable it to gracefully float to the floor.
It would also be able to put on its own waterproof cover when abandoned and at short notice.
We have decided that this phone would be free to Blondes (almost like a disability allowance), but brunettes would have to pay for the privilege of owning such an amazingly designed piece of gadgetry.
Please let me know if you happen to know of a forward thinking company who would like to invest in this ground (not phone) breaking technology!