By: Blonde Two
Like many walking/outdoorsy types, the Two Blondes have very firm opinions of what the “done thing” is. This involves a complex set of rules which cover everything from litter to which trousers to wear (never a skirt for Dartmoor – although am now attempted to try it). You have to be outsidey to understand 90% of these rules, for the remaining 10% you won’t have a hope unless you are Blonde.
One thing that is definitely not the “done thing” or at all “Dartmoor” is the use of an umbrella. We have still to stop teasing one poor young lady who turned up for her Bronze Duke of Edinburgh expedition with one. I am not sure where exactly the ill-considered idea to cart one up to the tree yesterday came from (not sure or not telling you whose idea it was!). However, in a particularly Blonde moment, the decision was made and there we were, on a very misty but not rainy night, sitting under a Christmas Tree wondering why we had bought it along.
We chatted and stared at the mist for a while. Last night, it was that traditional Dartmoor occasion, the invisible full moon. I had planned a sunset and a beautiful moonlit view – both of these were obliterated by the cloud that we were sitting in. To the Two Blondes however, the view was still lovely but then, we are more than a little bit mad.
This madness was proven when we cheered as it started to rain. At last, we could play with our umbrella! It was a very big umbrella so there was plenty of room for Two Blondes, two cuppas and two mince pies underneath it. We hung a light from it and then discovered that umbrellas can be a lot more demanding than storm shelters or tents; they are very fidgety and refuse to stand up on their own. Neither of us wanted to hold the handle so we (obviously!) came up with a new Blonde system. This system involved both of us holding the canvas against the rock behind us with our heads leaving the handle dangling in mid air.
I am fairly sure that you have never tried this (why would you), but holding something fidgety still with your head can be pretty tricky, especially if you are trying to eat mince pies, change torch batteries and take pictures of yourself at the same time. Being Blonde, we managed all of these feats and quickly learnt to take it in turns to move. There was, of course, a huge amount of laughter – there is a very good reason that we sit around on our own in the middle of nowhere!
When it was time to go, one Blonde (I am obviously not saying which One) decided to commit an even bigger crime against the rules of the “done thing” – she decided to walk down the hill with the umbrella up! This led to one wet Blonde, one dry one and some raucous singing of umbrella like songs – my favourite being, “You can pee under my umbrella.”