By: Blonde Two

Reality TV!

  • 4 out of 10 people admit to watching reality TV
  • Reality TV is most popular amongst those aged 25-34
  • Women (48%) watch reality TV more than men (30%) OnePoll

Whether we are talking about Love Island, Dancing Very Strictly or Take Your Celebrity Away Over There, reality TV appears to be here to stay but does it make you grind your teeth and vent your spleen or do you enjoy a bit of on-screen people watching and brain-relief TV?

Whatever your answer to this question, we Blondes are not here to judge but rather to suggest that, amongst the plethora of existing reality TV shows, there really should be more that represent the outdoor community and encourage viewers to Get Outside. Here are a few of our suggestions for our new channel, Blonde Reality TV (coming dreckly to a screen near you!) TV producers take note… you saw it here first!


It’s Raining Get Me off This Hill!

In which a group of people of whom you have never heard, are left on a hill until it starts to rain. The last one down to the valleys is a winner.


The Week the Women Went

In which the men of one street are left to fend for themselves (and have a jolly relaxed and enjoyable time) whilst their women-folk go off to walk up hills, camp in strange places and look after other people’s children in the rain.


Big Walker

In which walkers of larger dimensions are encouraged to enter outdoor gear shops and find walking trousers to fit. The last one to swear gets a tailor-made walking wardrobe.


Around the M25 in 80 Walks

In which a group of Londoner bankers have to negotiate their way, on foot around the M25 without ever setting foot on it or being more than two miles away from it.


Fox Neighbours From Hell

In which campers are encouraged to pitch their tents in areas well known for fox visitations. The team with the best overnight fortifications and defence systems win.


Ready Steady Trangia

In which celebrity chefs are given a typical rucksack of ingredients, for example squashed bananas, sweaty cheese, stale malt loaf, instant white tea, Kendal mint cake and a tin of peas and expected to cook on a meths Trangia for a group of four celebrity food critics who don’t want to be outside anyway.


Junior Walkers: Your Route in Their Hands

In which a group of primary school children are given the responsibility for planning and leading a walk for six disgruntled adults.


Badger’s Holt

In which a group of well-known and stunning celebrities listen to pitches about various excellent outdoor gear inventions and decide whether or not they want to take them on their next camping trip.


Big Bothy

In which a group of disparate lovers of the outdoors (not outdoor lovers) meet up in a cold bothy and are forced to share sporks, firewood and floorspace. The losers are the last ones out and have to sweep the floor and burn all the used toilet paper.


Just in case we ever really do want to produce our own reality TV show, we would be interested to find out which of the above you would watch. We would also like to know whether or not you spotted,


a) The Blonde reality show that is also the name of a Dartmoor cafe

b) The Blonde reality show that has pinched the title of a real reality show

c) The Blonde reality show that once really happened (minus the TV crew)