By: Blonde One

Contact lenses are very useful and to be recommended. They are excellent at helping you to see (very important if it is your turn to be in charge of looking). Their use means that your glasses don’t get wet in the rain. The ones I use get thrown away at the end of the day so I never need to worry about losing them; they are either in my eyes or in the bin.

There is one thing that they are not at all good at though …

My very experienced minibus co-pilot (Blonde Two) is excellent at passing sweets to me while I drive. As you would imagine there is a system and it works brilliantly. It involves waiting for a clear stretch of road (no traffic lights, cyclists, roundabouts, etc), getting the optimum amount of sweets (this is dependent on size and slipperyness: jelly babies – 3, skittles – 5, peanuts-8), passing sweets from Blonde Two’s right hand into my right hand (which is carefully passed under my left arm). The sweets will then be placed into a specially designed area on the right of the dashboard which allows quick and easy access without having to take my eyes off the road. Simple!

On a recent drive I excitedly reached for a Minstrel chocolate (which had gone through the system to arrive in the right place), its smooth chocolateyness was eagerly anticipated. The shape is particularly pleasing as it fits perfectly in your mouth … until this time. It had a crunchy old contact lens attached to it! I had forgotten, on a previous outing that I put the old lenses in the wrong place!

So, contact lenses are excellent, but not as a condiment!