By: Blonde Two

I am not sure that I have taken a request for a blog post before, but, by popular demand, today I shall attempt to ensure that all  Blondees and Blondettes know the difference between these two vital devices.  If you have heard this before, then snap, because I am sure that I have written it before.  My archiving system however, says “no!”

1.  Crampons can be strapped to the bottom of your boots and stay there all day.  Tampons (and I have experimented with this) only last on average 20 minutes.

2.  If you soak a tampon in hand gel, it makes a handy fire lighter (a fireman taught me that).  If you soak a crampon in hand gel, you will have very hygienic boots.

3.  A tampon (or slice of) is a useful dressing for a mouth injury.  Stuffing even a little bit of a crampon in your mouth is likely to make the injury worse.

4.  Tampons make thrifty Christmas decorations (see image below).  Crampons are expensive and look weird on the Christmas tree.Tampons1

5.  Tampons can make a handy fat-free substitute for TV snacks (see image below).  Crampons need soaking in vinegar before they even approach being edible.


6.  Crampons are designed to fit the person who bought them.  Tampons are more flexible and can be shared.

7.  It is possible to carry enough tampons for a whole group of girls whilst out on the hills.  It would be tricky to carry enough crampons.

8.  Crampons are very serious, macho, boy devices.  Tampons are for girls and, by default, are much, much more fun.

9.  Crampons have spikes for gripping onto things.  If your tampons have these then you should change your chemist.

10.  Crampons have been used to climb the North Face of the Eiger … maybe tampons have too!