By: Blonde Two

Top tips for staying cosy in a tent in December on Dartmoor.

The Two Blondes are, to be honest, both pretty rubbish at this rather necessary camping skill, we have woken up shivering in June.  But we have developed routines that at least help us to pretend we are going to be warm;

1.  The preparations start early – monitor your liquid intake from the moment it gets dark (it is pretty difficult trying to warm up buttocks that have had to hover over icy grass in the middle of the night.

2.  Share a tent, it doesn’t matter who with, it won’t make a blind bit of difference to your shiver levels but if you choose a fellow “coldy”, you will at least have someone to talk to when you are awake at 2 o’clock in the morning.

3.  Don’t bother getting undressed – make sure that you wear a wire free sports bra that day unless you want morning gouge marks (not that you will want to take your clothes off in the morning).

4.  Wear a hat, wear as many hoods as you can on top of your hat – be prepared to lose some peripheral vision at this point.

5.  Consider lots of lilos and sleeping mats or if you are lucky, a Thermarest.  Never, ever sleep directly on the ground.  Find a colleague to use as a mat if necessary – a good friend should not object.

6.  Two sleeping bags together is a good idea.  Not to keep the warmth in (they won’t) but by the time you have wrestled yourself and all your clothes into two, done up two zips, needed a wee and repeated the process, you will have thrashed around so much that you will have warmed up enough to give you half an hour’s sleep.

7.  Put an extra layer around your bottom (I have some Icebreaker merino knickers).  I have no idea why but boobs and bums seem to be the coldest places on a girl (I have yet to find a merino bra big enough).  No that isn’t an invitation to warm them up!

8.  Be mentally prepared for the fact that none of the above will work and that you will, without a shadow of a doubt, wake up shivering at least six times in the night, need the loo at least twice (at different times to your tent partner) and be pretty foul to know/smell/look at in the morning.

Happy camping x