By: Blonde Two
Once upon a time there was a clanger. She was a friendly clanger who had seen most of the universe but had decided to settle in Malvern in the shadow of the Malvern Hills.
One day a kind person called Blonde Two came to visit. Blonde Two liked talking to the clanger and asked her what she thought of the Malvern Hills.
“I’ve never seen the Malvern Hills,” answered the clanger, “I’ve travelled across the universe so much that these days I prefer playing scrabble and eating ginger biscuits.”
“Well you really should see the Malvern Hills,” said Blonde Two, surprised because although she had travelled to Devon (which is nearly as far as the universe) she still liked walking on the Malvern Hills. “Why don’t you come out for a walk with me?”
“Okay,” said the clanger, looking doubtfully at her limbs, “but my legs are quite short, you will have to walk slowly.”
“I can walk slowly,” said Blonde Two, “Ask my friend Blonde One, I’m very good at it!”
“I will,” answered the clanger, “but let’s go for our walk first.”
So Blonde Two and the clanger set out across Malvern Common towards the Malvern Hills, but something was wrong. The Malvern Hills had disappeared!
Blonde Two had forgotten her map so the clanger had to take charge of finding the Malvern Hills:
First the clanger crossed a bridge but she could only see a deep, deep river.
Next she climbed a tree but she could only see ominous clouds.
The the clanger found an enormous lake, but the Malvern Hills weren’t in there. Blonde Two wanted to go for a swim but the clanger didn’t.
She tried looking in a very old postbox, but it was so dark inside that she couldn’t see anything at all.
After this the clanger got a bit fed-up.
“Blonde Two, I have walked and walked and haven’t seen the Malvern Hills. I told you that my legs were short and now they are tired too. I am going to catch a bus home!”
So the clanger crossed the road very carefully (because you can’t get across the universe without learning how to be careful). She sat in the bus stop window looking out at a tree.
“I still can’t see the Malvern Hills Blonde Two,” she called, “but I can see some firewood.”
“I don’t want to carry firewood home and we can’t take it on the bus,” said Blonde Two grumpily. “I want to show you the Malvern Hills!”
“I’ll carry the firewood,” said the clanger. “I may be short but I am very strong! Who knows, we might find the Malvern Hills on the way home.”
Blonde Two smiled, she did like to see a bit of determination, especially in a clanger.
“Sounds like a plan Clanger!” she said. “Home is this way.”
So Blonde Two and a clanger and some firewood all made their way back across Malvern Common. Just as they got to the edge of the common, the clanger turned round and pointed.
“Look Blonde Two, I think I can see the Malvern Hills!”
She was right! The mist was just clearing and the hills looked lovely. Blonde Two picked her and the firewood up and they waltzed all the way home for a cup of tea!
I can confirm that the clanger has been in touch to ask about typical walking speeds of Blonde Two!
That evening, Clanger was very tired so she decided to look for a bed for the night. She looked at the downstairs sofa, but it was too low, the television was too noisy and she could not settle there because the person who had cuddled her had gone home. She had a look at the stairs; they were very steep for short legs so she waited for a ride on the stair lift. When she got upstairs, she found a room with a little bed and a bit bigger bed, but there was evidence of other people sleeping there so she went to another bedroom and found a big bed with a cosy blue fleece to snuggle under. She climbed in, fell asleep and was still there when a plump old lady climbed into bed beside her. The old lady had spotted her peeping out so she was very careful not to wake Clanger. The next morning the old lady took Clanger downstairs and placed her gently among some of her friends; two minions, a nurse, two brown bunnies wearing red clothes and a white rabbit in a posh purple dress. Clanger was very glad to be among her friends again because she had secretly missed the Blonde lady who took her on a Malvern Hills adventure. She is looking forward to the next time she is taken out by the cuddly blonde lady.
That clanger is a cheeky one! Keep an eye on her for me 🙂