Excuse Me, Where is the Lava-Tree?

By: Blonde Two

On Saturday, I arrived at the Auckland terminal just on time for the ferry over to Rangitoto. This meant that I didn’t risk a wee pee stop.

On the ferry, I was too absorbed in wobbly photography, to take any notice of my bladder’s quiet comments.

At Rangitoto Wharf I managed to walk straight past the toilets in my eagerness to climb a volcano.

As I crossed the lagoon on a boardwalk, the gentle lapping made me realise that I should have been paying more attention.

“No problem.” I thought, “I’m a Blonde, I can pee in a bush, even a New Zealand one.”

But I was wrong! As I walked on, I couldn’t find a single place to go. Here were my options:

The exposed track? – Too many Japanese students (all with cameras.)

The bush? – Too low growing and entangled (besides I didn’t want to offend the tuis.)

The lava fields? – Too spiky (one slip and it would have been goodbye to some important bits.)

The beach? – Too beautiful (plus people were sitting in rows along it.)

The Portaloos? – Too scary (the teenagers in the queue before me were making horrified noises as they entered.)

The boardwalk? – No problem with drainage, but too many jandal (flipflop) wearing joggers.

The crater rim? – You really don’t want to offend those volcano gods while you are standing on top of their previous explosion.

Behind the summit trig point? – Too skinny and very public.

The lava caves? – Again too sharp and too many photographers.

The toilets back at Rangitoto Wharf? – Well obviously I should have gone there in the first place. Good to test the bladder’s stretchability from time to time though! I was in there for a long time and made sure that I obeyed the signage (although it might have been more adventurous not to!)