By: Blonde Two

A little while back, someone sent us a video of a Yellow Jelly Baby melting in a microwave.  Although this was a little cruel to the poor Yellow, it did make us laugh.  I am not, however, going to laugh ever again at any melting related incident.  This is because since our Blonde Hot Walk on Sunday, I know what it feels like to melt.

The Blonde meltdown happened around the time of the horse fly attacks that Blonde One told you about yesterday.  Picture the scene, Two Blondes dancing around on a dusty path, swatting their legs amid screeches and a few not so polite words.  These poor Blondes had chosen to remain in full midday (mad Blondes but no English men) sunshine to escape the horse flies (the tactic was failing).  I was bent over and frantically throwing bags out of my rucksack in an attempt to find the missing insect repellent.  As our “frantics” (new Blonde word) got worse, we got hotter and sweat started to pour into my eyes.  Not only sweat, I would like to add, but suncream with added random ingredient that makes your skin go brown (bought by accident).

It didn’t take long before I was completely blind in one eye.  I don’t know if you have ever put suncream in your eyes (maybe it is only Blondes that do that) but it really hurts and made me yell even more.  I think that by this time we were really loud in our “frantics” and must have looked quite a sight.  By the time I had decided that I couldn’t find the insect repellent, I was blind in both eyes and had to put my rucksack back together by feel.  It really did feel like my whole head was melting – shame it couldn’t have been my bottom or those little wobbly bits under my arms (I quite like my head!)

We set off again to try and get away from the flies with Blonde One having to give me terrain based instructions until my eyes cleared.  You know the sort of thing, “Hole!”, “Big Hole!”, “Duck!”…

Although my head still appears to be on my shoulders, I am convinced that part of my brain did melt as a little later on I had to give the map and compass to Blonde One because my “thinking cap” had stopped working.

I did feel a bit excused in my melting as, when we drove home, most of the roads down to Newbridge were also melting (scary in a very low car).  Neither the Blonde meltdowns nor the road meltdowns were as bad however as the traffic related temper meltdowns that were occurring at Newbridge.  I was very glad indeed to get home to a cold shower!