By: Blonde Two

I am discovering that I have a lot of things to learn about hammocks. Luckily I have a son who is something of a hammocking expert in Hammocker. Camping hammocks maybe have more elements to them than everyday hammocks (I am not even sure what an everyday hammock is). There are hammock straps, hammock thermal mats pockets, hammock tents with more pockets, tarps and even special hammock bags called ‘snakeskins’. We can all learn together because I would be breaking the bloggers code if I didn’t tell you all about my new toy (plus I can’t stop playing with it!) but let’s start with something simple… here are my six steps explaining how to get into a hammock.

Step 1 – Fiddle with your hammock straps

I am not going to show you how to that yet because I am still getting used to mine. Suffice it to say that I have to tie knots to join the tree huggers (gentle straps to protect the trees) to the hammock straps and rope. These knots do a lot of over and undering and have some half hitches (which I do understand) at the end of them. No camping hammock disasters as yet!

Step 2 – Make sure your camping hammock is at sitting level

This is more difficult than it sounds because, as well as thinking about sitting level, you have to consider tree position, position between trees and even rope length, all whilst tying the knots that are supposed to hold you up all night!

Step 3 – Sit in Your Camping Hammock

Again, sounds simple but sitting in a hammock is definitely not the same thing as sitting in a chair. For a start you have to gather some hammock material into your hands so that you end up with your bottom somewhere near the middle and then there is that awful, ‘here goes my whole weight’ moment when you feel the hammock swing under you for the first time and hope the hammock straps are up to the job.

Step 4 – Lie Back and Think of England

This is the good bit. Once you know your hammock has taken your weight and that your bottom isn’t rubbing on the floor, you can lie gently back and, not only think of England, but see it at an entirely new angle.

Step 5 – Sit up again and take your boots off

I would remember to do this the first time if I were you. Boots inside a camping hammock are a definite no-no. Get used to a bit of nocturnal boot fiddling every time you want to get out and maybe invest in a hammock-side mat!

Step 6 – Zip up your hammock tent

Not all hammocks are made equal and I am lucky enough to have a hammock tent in the form of a mosquito (midge) net permanently attached to mine. I haven’t hammocked anywhere warm enough to warrant its use as yet but it makes for a nice, safe feeling at night.

Avoid man-eating hammocks

Mr B2 has done more hammock sleeping than I have but he obviously still needs practice. I am not sure what went wrong here but his hammock appears to be eating him!