By: Blonde Two
Having a bonfire here in New Zealand is a bit different to the tiny affairs that I have had in the UK. Here, bonfires are much taller than me; this makes them very satisfying and one of my favourite things.
Here is how you make a New Zealand bonfire:
a) Collect lots of rubbish from the gardens and paddocks. This involves a natty farm vehicle and some chopping devices. It is good fun but I always forget to wear long sleeves and end up with scratches all up my arms.
b) Dig a drainage channel. The bonfire spot here has water flowing into it. Unusual I know, but no problem to a Kiwi! All you have to do is wade around in the cow poo, making sure not to separate yourself from your gumboots, and did a trench down into the other paddock. Smelly but satisfying!
e) Use your tractor again to: i) Squash the stuff to burn onto the stuff that is burning. ii) Rearrange your bonfire so that it pleases you. I have not progressed to tractor driving yet so Norm does that bit. I did have a bit of a moment when it stalled almost on top of the bonfire – my outdoors first aid training doesn’t cover “uncle-in-tractor-in-bonfire” rescues!
f) Sit back in your natty farm vehicle or your tractor and watch your handiwork go up in flames. This is the best bit.
I always thought that what I needed at home to have bonfires was a bigger garden. What I actually need is a tractor and someone to drive it!