By: Blonde Two
Today, the Two Blondes are going back to school. I have to say that I think this shows a fair level of commitment considering the fact that we haven’t been to Dartmoor for a whole week. I hope that we don’t get too giggly and get told off. Imagine if my Mum got a letter home about my behaviour.
Please don’t worry too much about us giving up our weekend. As with most things Blonde, the ‘school-for-a-day’ thing has got a Dartmoor and walking element to it. We are going to learn to be Duke of Edinburgh Assessors (note the capital A – this is to make us feel important). I am puzzled somewhat as to why the Duke of Edinburgh needs assessing but I am sure that Blonde One and I are up to the challenge.
I am not certain that the Duke himself is planning to be at school with us today but I have been puzzling over the etiquette that will be required if he is. For example, would it constitute a faux pas for a Blonde to assess a Duke’s jacket and find it lacking? Would he frown at One (or Two) if One (or Two) mentioned that his briefcase wasn’t correctly packed? Or would it be a treasonable offence to suggest that his helicopter hadn’t chosen a challenging enough route to the venue?
If there was going to be lunch provided (there isn’t), I would be expecting a platter of Scottish salmon with wafer thin slices of cucumber. I hope that he remembers to bring his own lunch and doesn’t want to share my tuna sandwich and banana (no, the banana will not be in the sandwich – too crowded). Obviously I will feel obliged to give him feedback on his choice of vittles with particular comment on the nutritional value of his sandwich filling.
If we play our cards right, we could both come put of today’s training with a knighthood (it wouldn’t be the first in my family). If we get the etiquette wrong or giggle too much, we could both end up in detention at the Tower of London (I hope not, I never did like ravens – kronk, kronk!)
Off with their Blonde heads!