By: Blonde Two

Ironically, when I started to write this blog post yesterday, the weather was the wrong way round for the song.  For the first time in ages, it wasn’t a “Bright, bright, sunshiny day.”  Luckily for me, the title of the post wasn’t a comment on the weather (although I suspect that I might not have been the only person to breathe a secret sigh of relief at not being fried alive the moment I stepped outside the door).

No, the title of today’s blog post refers to the rather disappointing fact that yesterday I picked up some new contact lenses and a new pair of glasses.  Please don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against glasses and am quite pleased about the way my new ones look perched on my (some say rather small) nose.  What I was disappointed about was the fact that, having had a three year break from needing any eye help – the optician had told me (rather bluntly, I thought) that not only did I need them again but that I was old enough to need multifocal lenses.

Once I had got used to the idea of having eyes that, along with my knees, have clearly had a premature start along the route to being geriatric (obviously, you would never be able to tell from looking at me).  I felt even more fed up at the thought of all the faff that having to deal with eye wear again would bring me.  Blonde One will feel my pain here I know – she is very patient about the eye thing, I am not sure that I am going to be.  If you have ever found yourself in one of the situations below, you will understand why:

1.  Have you ever found yourself crouching, on a frosty morning next to a partially iced up minibus mirror, trying to put your last contact lens in only to have it blow into a muddy puddle?

2.  Have you ever had to stand for five seconds while your eyes re-focus on the landscape after looking at your map (because your last contact lens blew into the mud)?

3.  Have you ever had to stumble around because your glasses have misted up in the rain (because your last contact lens blew into the mud)?

4.  Have you ever worried about getting back to the bus before it is dimpsy because your eyes don’t work at dusk (because your last contact lens blew into the mud)?

5.  Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with your eyelids glued down because you were too tired to remember to remove your contact lenses as you crawled into your tent?

6.  Have you ever had to take something delicious out of your rucksack because you needed to fit in contact lens fluid, a glasses case, prescription sunglasses and some spare contact lenses?

If these experiences are familiar to you then you will understand my current irritation with my eyes.  Glasses are great for wearing with a pair of heels and looking “office sexy” (remember Blonde One’s likeness to Miss Moneypenny) and contact lenses are a fabulous invention when accompanied by an unfeasible hat and a pair of “film star” sun glasses; but neither of these devices really have much to recommend them to a hillwalker, except of course, that they mean that you can see the lovely landscape that you are walking in (most of the time)!