By: Blonde Two

IF you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs

And shouting a lot;

If you can trust yourself to buy enough bacon for twenty-five

At the same time as doing your day job.

And organise and not be tired by organising

Or by being busy, just keep going.

Or by being shattered, don’t forget the mascara

And yet don’t look too tired, or talk too grumpy:


If you can dream yet not fall asleep at your desk,

If you can walk fast yet not leave anyone behind,

If you can write three route cards simultaneously;

Standing up, balancing your lunch;

If you can work through lunch time and through break time;

And not frown at anyone lovely,

Nor ‘accidentally’ tread on the toes of someone you dislike,

But encourage and smile and give good advice.


If you can lie awake, freezing in an icy tent,

While all around you are snoring soundly;

If you can squat behind a lump of ground,

And pretend that nobody can see you,

If you can get up at dawn to avoid a loo queue;

And share your toothpaste, deodorant, wine and wet wipes;

And not need shampoo,

Because there isn’t a shower.


If you can walk with young ones and keep up on flat ground

Or climb a hill with speeders and not swear at them –

Not loud enough for them to hear you;

If you are part of a team who shares a common goal;

If you can fill the unforgiving Winter weekends,

With days of pride and admiration;

Yours is Dartmoor and everything in it,

And – which is more – you will be a Blonde my girl.