By: Blonde Two

The bigs news yesterday morning wasn’t some ridiculous shenanigans dreamt up by Trump or any other of the current batch of global leading odd-balls. No the news yesterday was much more important; the big supermarkets are running out of lettuces.

Can you imagine the disaster that is about to strike our nation. Prawn cocktails will be daubed flaccidly on our plates, burgers will sit forsaken in their buns and the mountain of ‘garnish’ that restaurants sweep into the bins every night will fade away to a hummock. On top of that we are all probably going to die of scurvy.

Except that it be like that won’t will it? The supermarket giants are in the process as we speak of importing a new lettuce glut (because have no doubt, many of these will be thrown away) from the USA. In 2014, 2 tonnes of container shipment travelling 5000 miles produced 150kg of CO2; now 2 tonnes of lettuces sounds like a lot but we do love chucking away that garnish. How ironic that the missing lettuces are called, ‘Iceberg’!

How long is it going to take us to remember that vegetables, like ‘everything’, have seasons. Even in my meagre, winter-sun starved garden I have found this week a couple of leeks and some kale. Leeks would be delicious, I am sure, with marie-rose sauce, nestled beneath a McDonald’s gherkin or next to our chips. What on earth have we come to?

My intense dislike of supermarkets grows.

“To everything there is a season…”

It was either God who said that or a chap called Pete Seeger.

Today’s pictures are neither Blonde originals nor iceberg lettuces… there’s a shortage you know!