By: Blonde Two
Just every now and again (obviously not often) I catch myself doing something that makes no sense whatsoever. It happened the other day, see if you can spot the contradiction in my actions:
1. Go swimming in the sea, get hair sea-wet.
2. Have a shower, wash hair, condition hair.
3. Spray newly washed hair with ‘Sea Salt Spray’ product.
To be honest, the whole hair washing thing is becoming a bit of a nuisance at the moment because with our current batch of sunny weather I have swum in the sea every day and sometimes more than once. This means that getting in the shower seems fairly pointless and washing my hair a waste of coconut scented shampoo.
I believe the term for my recent hair state is ‘grungy’ which would, I think be onomatopoeic (such a lovely string of vowels to type) if dirt could be converted into sound. You certainly wouldn’t be able to get a brush through these curls so instead I have been experimenting with alphabet shapes.
I have the sort of hair that (to start with at least) looks at its best with a bit of salt in it. The curls become more sculpted, the ends fly away far less and the look has more volume to it, all the things that hair adverts suggest are advantageous to a girl’s general acceptability.
I did say ‘at least to start with’ because after 4 days my salty curves had morphed into what must surely be the starter stage of dreadlocks. I did briefly contemplate continuing the experiment to its hippy conclusion but reconsidered after both Mr B2 and Not-at-all-Blonde looked perturbed at the suggestion. Apparently for a middle-aged mother to emulate her 27 year old and rather handsome son in hair style is not the done thing!
If you want to try sea hair for yourself you can do one of three things:
1. Buy a pot of nice smelling spray stuff.
2. Go swimming in the sea (recommended).
3. Jump on a boat and go somewhere splashy.
4. All of the above but maybe not in that order.
I am writing this with boring hair; it has been washed, it has been conditioned and it has been anointed with non-frizzy product stuff. I look like a girl but not a mermaid, but please don’t worry, I will be back in the sea at 07:00 tomorrow and my sea hair cycle will start all over again!
Never mind. It’s spring – exactly the right time for “bad HARE” days.
I reckon RR will be using some of this feminine background material in his next novel.