By: Blonde Two

Now this is a Dartmoor challenge that I defy anybody to resist

The Dartmoor Cream Tea Challenge is a most excellent idea (well done ‘Devon Heaven Hampers) it suggests a route that crosses Dartmoor and calls in at sixteen cafes on the way. I am not sure whether or not the miles across Dartmoor or the eating of sixteen cream teas is the biggest challenge.

Now, as you know, planning is all important in any Dartmoor expedition/challenge. Our Ten Tors youngsters don’t leave camp without a route card that tells them (and us) when they should be at each checkpoint.

Should we Blondes (and our hungry friends) wish to undertake the Cream Tea Challenge, we will need to prepare a similar document. The only problem with this (and I don’t think it has been tackled before) is working out the impact on timings of stopping for cream teas.

Naismith’s Rule (which is what we normally use) is quite simple; fifteen minutes for each kilometre plus a bit extra for going up big hills. Now, if we were to convert Naismith’s Rule to Creamsmith’s Rule, I think it is safe to say that things would get a lot more complicated. Blonde One and I have pondered this and come up with a possible formula.

For every kilometre allow 15 minutes (just like Naismith).
For every cream tea allow 20 minutes (ordering and eating).
For every third cream tea allow 10 additional minutes (loo!)
If the cream tea is closely followed by a hill then allow 2 extra minutes per contour line crossed (tummy ache).
If the cream tea is just after a hill then take away 2 extra minutes per contour line crossed (eagerness).
For the first, second and third cream teas allow 5 extra minutes for the cream/jam on top argument.
For the fourth, fifth and sixth cream teas allow 5 extra minutes for the clotted/double argument.
For the fourteenth, fifteenth and sixteenth cream teas allow 7 extra minutes for the additional weight carried.
No additional time to be allowed for arguing on consequent cream teas because everyone will be too full to talk.

By my Blonde calculations, this means that a 2 – 3 day expedition would probably take a week. Even if it did take that long, that would still be at least two cream teas a day!