By: Blonde Two

One thing I like about working at home is the opportunity it gives to look out of the window. You would be amazed how much of my typing happens while I watch the neighbour’s cat or the pigeons on the windowsill. I quite like the pigeons and am close to giving them names but am no so keen on the cat who already has a name.

The other day a van drove past with the words ‘Official Grass Installers’ emblazoned neatly across its front. The guys in the front seat looked very chatty and happy so I can only presume it is a good thing to be an ‘Official Grass Installer’. If only I knew what one was I could be one too, it sounds like a lovely outdoorsy job but one has to be sure. For a start, there is the question of whether it is the grass or the installer himself who is official. I imagine official grass would be very green, all run in the same direction and shout at you if you stepped on it. The New Zealand grass above is definitely not ‘official’.

You could have all sorts of official outdoors jobs:

‘Official Tent Erector’ (not to be abbreviated)

‘Official Map Flapper’ (not in a 20s beaded dress)

‘Official Tea Brewer’ (maybe the sort of tea that comes from hops)

‘Official Rucksack Handler’ (Blondes usually handle their own rucksacks)

‘Official Minibus Pilot’ (B1 is already one of those)

‘Official Minibus Co Pilot’ (guess who!)

I think the time has come to make some badges!!