By: Blonde Two

I don’t know if you have noticed but, year on year, there seems to be further proliferation of festivals. We don’t just have music festivals anymore, we have outdoor festivals (with goats), yoga festivals (also with goats) and even spoon festivals (presumably with goat soup). I promise, I am not making Spoonfest up, Blonde One and I found it once when we were in Up North. However, the next three festivals have been invented by Blonde minds (in a tent of course), so if you want to attend, you will have to organise them yourself.

Fatberg Fest

Fatberg Fest is (hopefull) going to be a one-year-only festival to celebrate the recent demise of the Sidmouth Fatberg. Sidmouth is already famous for the Sidmouth Folk Festival and Fatberg Fest intends to build on the success of this but with strict entry restrictions. Only people who can prove that they have adhered to a fat-free diet and used zero wet wipes will be allowed to attend.

Headliners: The Artery Killers, Kleane and The Moody Sewers

Date: Not sure yet, depends on whether or not another fat berg forms

Camp Vestival

Camp Vestival will be a winter beach festival during which you may or may not be able to take part in ice surfing, wave skating and snow castle building. A chilly reception is guaranteed, so only come along if you are the hardy type and know how to tuck your ‘vestival’ in.

Headliners: Dexy’s Midnight Shivers, Kajacoldcold and Noah and the Frozen Whale

Date: February… or January, whichever proves to be colder

Red Herring Fest

Red Herring Fest will be the place to be but only if you can find it. We will be running a series of dummy festivals on the same weekend and you will have to be very good at deciphering obscure navigation clues to arrive at the right festival, at the right time, with the right equipment. Maps and compasses will be compulsory as we will be hiding the tents, the loos, the food and even the music.

Headliners: Orchestral Machinations in the Dark, The Magic Map Numbers and A-Ha (I found you)

 

What a year of festival fun this is going to be… We’ll see you there… Or maybe not!