By: Blonde Two
You probably remember, dear Blondees and Blondettes, that during wintery Dartmoor adventures, I suffer from a rather unpleasant and chilly problem. Pleased try not to blush at this point because the part of my anatomy that we are talking about here is my breasts.
Aside: Have tried hard here to find a more pleasing word for breasts. I am not in the mood for boobs and all of the others seem derogatory. Help is required!
To sum up the problem; I get very cold and (let’s not beat around the Bertha’s here) uncomfortable in the frontage department when out walking in cold weather.
Various solutions have been suggested to me, some of which are unrepeatable here but I am pleased to announce that I am pretty sure the problem has at last been solved by my mum. Let me explain.
On my birthday I received a package containing a cheque, some catalogue pages and instructions on how to buy an appropriate bra. Now I don’t know about most of you ladies but it has been a very long time since my mum bought me a bra. I am not going to tell you how many years but I can remember it well. It was my first one, it was pale yellow and it was approximately the size of the straps of the ones I wear nowadays.
Like a good daughter, I followed mother’s instructions and, lo and behold, one day the postman turned up with my new “made with silver thread” bra. Once I had told the postman in no uncertain terms to take it off again; I tried it on and found it very comfortable. When I went out walking in it, I didn’t particularly notice anything; which is interesting because it means that the naughty breasts were at last behaving themselves. This suspicion was confirmed when I removed the bra and fairly quickly felt the old chilliness creeping back in again. Blonde One can confirm this, she was there!
So thanks mum and let this be a lesson to all daughters who don’t usually listen to their mothers. Sometimes, they might just be right.
Aside: During the writing of this blog post, I looked up some slang words for breasts in the hope of finding ones that I liked. I did – “B1 and B2” was a very interesting option!