By: Blonde Two
Dear Blondees and Blondettes, I, Blonde Two have recently been ‘made redundant’. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, although it is a bit of a crappy situation but I would like to have a good moan about the word ‘redundant’ because it really doesn’t fit me. How dare anyone suggest that it does!
This Blonde is not unnecessary, she is not superfluous and she is definitely not dispensable. This Blonde is not expendable, not unwanted and not useless. This Blonde is not extra, additional or spare. Neither is she surplus. Neither is she inessential. In fact, Blondees and Blondettes, this Blonde is not redundant at all; she may not have a job to go to in September but redundant? Never!
Maybe tomorrow I will publish my CV on the blog. It would, of course, be a CB ‘Curriculum Blonde’. I could list my accomplishments (they are obviously many) and state my views on life (you may have noticed that I am good at that). I could even tell you my date of birth, my shoe size and my favourite sort of cake.
Do you think this would work, do you think they would all stop calling me redundant then? (Insert grumpy, rude name for mean people here!) Maybe I would even find a new job. There must be someone out there somewhere who is willing to pay a lot of money for a Blonde navigator with two badly behaved knees, lots of spare time and a fantastic sense of humour!