By: Blonde Two

“Warning” Poem by Jenny Joseph

The usual manner of new year’s resolutions is to make them for the year ahead. However, when Blonde One and I found ourselves with tent time to spare during our Dartmoor wild camping Christmas party, our thoughts turned to getting older and how we might like to approach that happening when it eventually arrives. It was a very windy night and we were particularly enjoying being cosy in our tent. I have loved Jenny Joseph’s ‘Warning’ poem since my mum put it up on our childhood kitchen wall. I am older now than Mum was then but even her walking stick is purple so she kept her promise. Here is our Blonde version and our resolution for many new years to come.


“Warning” Poem by The Two Blondes

When we are old women we shall wear Goretex

With orange bobble hats which don’t go, and don’t suit us.

We shall spend our pensions on boots and winter gloves

And down sleeping bags, and say we’ve no money for butter.

We shall sit down on the damp grass when we are tired,

And gobble up Frazzles for breakfast and drink port,

And splash our feet through puddles

And make up for the organisation of our youth.

Our children will pitch our tents in the rain

And take photos of our madness

Then leave us to camp.

We can wear quilted trousers and grow more fat

And eat three boiled eggs at a go,

Or only cheesy chips for a week,

And hoard tent pegs and wooly socks and camping stoves

But now we must plan routes and check first aid kits

We must earn some money and not swear at kids

And set a good example for the world.

We must appear normal to friends and read the internet.

But maybe we ought to practice a little now?

So people who know us are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly we are old and start to wear Goretex.


Happy New Year!


If you would like to make a new year’s resolution that is a bit different, how about learning some new outdoor skills. This year will be running several Dartmoor navigation courses and Dartmoor wild camping weekends. We even have a winter wild camping weekend coming up in February. If you fancy a challenge and want to gain the skills that will take you safely off to exciting outdoor places, we Blondes can definitely help you out. Get in touch today to find out more…

Dartmoor Wild Camping Courses

Dartmoor Navigation Courses