By: Blonde Two
I am going to tell you a story now that not many of you will believe. Indeed, when I first heard the tale, perhaps because I know how brilliant Six-Foot-Blonde was at making up stories when he was just Two-Foot-Blonde, I had many doubts. I will present the evidence to you as it was given to me and you can make your own minds up.
A couple of years ago Six-Foot-Blonde (son number two) was doing some voluntary work at an outdoor centre in Shropshire. He had had a busy morning with a group of youngsters (pleased mum) and had sneaked out into the bushes for a crafty cigarette (not so pleased mum). He was sitting, enjoying his little bit of relaxation when he turned around and about 15 paces away, standing looking at him was a big, stripy, scary looking tiger.
The tiger and he contemplated each other for what he says seemed like forever and then Six-Foot took a chance and ran back to the house. At the house, he burst into the office shouting about tigers only to find that none of the other staff believed him. That is, they didn’t believe him until he grabbed the phone and rang the police. The police arrived later that day along with a big cat expert who heard the story and studied the area where there was indeed a big cat footprint. I can vouch for the footprint as we visited Six-Foot that weekend and it was still there as clear as day. I didn’t believe the story myself until that point.
The big cat expert told them that there had probably been a big cat visitor but he couldn’t be sure that it was a tiger. And that was that; there were no other sightings to prove or disprove his story and I imagine that Six-Foot changed his cigarette venue from then on. I did worry for a while as he spent quite long periods of time on his own at this centre – I tried to give him the “tiger-talk” but realised that I didn’t have one to give. There are so many parental situations that they don’t prepare you for when you get pregnant!
So there we have it, the tiger that really did come to tea – well, I guess it was lunch. Whether you believe the story or not is up to you but after checking that it wasn’t a certain day in early April and seeing the footprint, I decided that I did.
Walking is obviously a great time for thinking. But do you ever find yourself contemplating different scenario’s and what you would do in the event of it actually happening???? I have often wondered as I’ve stomped over Dartmoor what I would do if suddenly I came face to face with a “big cat”? So many areas are just open expanses so where do you run to???? Perch precariously on top of a cross??? Develop super powers and hide in a cist and pull the lid over??? Hope I’m near a hard to climb tor and hope my rock climbing skills stand me in good stead??? Who knows until you find yourself in that situation?
Love the idea of prenatal “tiger” talks – and they ought to include a warning not to try and stroke your tiger into submission – I’m told that their fur is like razor wire. In a certain famous wildlife park, K9 number 3 and I came face to face with a puma in a wire run. It was just on closing time and I think the staff thought all visitors had left. The puma took one almighty leap from one end of the run to the other and the wire in front of us bent alarmingly. We beat a hasty retreat. I don’t want to meet a tiger – – – – –