By: Blonde Two

I briefly mentioned tent snacks the other day when I was telling you about my latest Dartmoor wild camp. Blonde One and I quickly learnt during our Ten Tors days that if you are going to have a tent party it pays to be the hosts, that way everybody warms up your tent for you before they go off to their cold ones. Tent parties should always include cheese, it lends an air of sophistication to the event and the posher the cheese the more sophisticated the tent party (I believe I have told you before about losing my manchego.)

Anyway when I was out on a Dartmoor wild camp a week or so ago we all brought snacks and my snacks, the cheese and the crisps ended up being taken inside at about 19:00 because we were getting chilly. You have seen the pictures of the three of us in our sleeping bags and must now be wondering where on earth we kept said snacks when we had had enough of munching. Allow me to enlighten you. I stowed the crisps safely at the bottom of the tent (mainly so that I couldn’t be tempted to have a noisy munch in the middle of the night). I intended to do the same with the cheese (a rather soft brie) but by the time I had remembered to do so it had disappeared somewhere under my mattress.

I must not be a princess because I didn’t find the cheese until the next morning when I packed up. Come to think of it I slept really well (nearly 10 hours which is unheard of), which means that cheese is clearly a very good camping mattress. Imagine the scandal I am going to cause when I suggest to Therm-a-Rest that their next mattress be filled not with down or synthetic filler but with a nice, organic brie!

I have suspicions that one of my companions (ostensibly brunette) has some Blonde genes because as we drove home we had a long debate about which cheese would make the best sleeping mat:

Cheddar – too oily and could only be used in Somerset

Stilton – far too smelly

Edam – possible just right plus you could make a lovely red shelter from the rind

Emmental – excellent, the holes would provide insulation and springiness

Wensleydale – too crumbly, sorry Gromit

Feta – to juicy and might attract the sheep

It looks like Emmental is the winner so far, if you can think of a better option then do let us know. In the meantime we are thinking of some names for our cheese mattress…

Emmenrest, Dairyrest, Thermacheese, Cheddarsleep…