By: Blonde Two
What would you do if you had £999? Probably something mundane like pay the mortgage. But if your mortgage was already sorted, you might like to spend it on a four-day “Bear Grylls Commando Survival Challenge” on Dartmoor.
If you think that this seems like rather a lot of money for something that lots of us do quite a lot of the time for free, I would be in wholehearted agreement with you. Let us examine this challenge more closely:
It promises “One of the most hostile environments within the UK.” Well they could be right there. It might well be hostile tonight while the Blondes and their troupe of young ones are camping out.
Maybe we could start the Blonde Survival Academy. The list of activities has some familiarly Blonde sounding favourites : Outdoor first aid, day navigation, night navigation, river crossing, cooking outside, crossing difficult ground, purifying water, 4x4s (we have a minibus and a sports car too), helicopter rides (well, ok, we have only done that once!), survival stories, self preservation, foraging for food (can you eat purple moor grass?)
It also has some that we have to confess we can’t offer; but I think we know people who can: Snares and traps – (Six-Foot-Blonde), knots and general dangling off cliffs – (loads of nice people in red jackets), fishing – (a prize winning, friendly Welsh man), self-defence – (a feisty black-belt blonde).
I like the sound of The Blonde Survival Academy. By my (rather Blonde) calculations, there are only two things that the Bear Grylls Survival Academy offers that we can’t;
The first is “primal instinct training“. We don’t offer that because we have no idea what it is (although it does have a Blonde ring to it).
The second is Bear Grylls himself. We would however, definitely be interested in auditioning some possible replacements!