By: Blonde Two
The Two Blondes have had a long and very busy expedition season this year. We have had lots of fun, been lots of places and seen some strange sights (often we were the strange sights). One thing though has been puzzling us all year. One thing that we have spotted all over Dartmoor. We suspect that we have uncovered a new species.
You have heard, I daresay, of the Beast of Bodmin and there have been many tales of big cats roaming around Dartmoor. This, however, is a completely different kind of beast. Let me tell you some of its habits;1. It usually appears in cold, rainy weather. 2. It has been spotted on a variety of tors, right across the North and South moor. 3. Due to its bright colour, it can be easily spotted from a long way away. 4. It invariably disappears when you approach it. The Dartmoor Blob is good at changing its shape to suit the situation it finds itself in. This is very clever for a beast that appears to have no eyes. We can only presume that this creature feeds by sucking up food from the ground as it wriggles across the moor as its hands appear only rarely and never in inclement weather. The Two Blondes are thrilled to announce that through the use of intensive tracking methods (honed by our time with the Navajo people) – I may have made that bit up! and many patient stakeouts (usually at the top of tors in the rain), we have finally managed to get a close up picture of the Dartmoor Blob in the vicinity of Roos Tor. If you should encounter this creature, please approach with caution. It moves slowly but can swallow a man (or Blonde) whole under its orange canopy. It is believed that once under this canopy, the hapless victim dies a slow death in an overheated bath of sweat. Please report sightings of the Dartmoor Blob to our email address so that we can collate a map of the creature’s whereabouts. Photographic evidence would be appreciated.