By: Blonde Two
I was reading a BBC news article during my “refusing to get up until it is warm” lie-in on Sunday and it got me thinking. The article was about how families in Serbia each have their own patron saint to follow and celebrate. They don’t choose this saint, it is handed down through the paternal family line. This seems like a nice idea and I decided to do an investigation to find out if there was a patron saint who would do for the Two Blondes. My research turned up some interesting possibilities.
Saint Amalburga – recent news stories may tempt you to read this as “St Animal Burger”. Please don’t be fooled. St Amalburga is the one you need to get in touch with if you have bruises. As I have a tendency to fall over on the moors a fair amount, I thought that she might be sympathetic to Blonde needs. She is an interesting character who retired to a convent once her children had grown up (her hubby went to a monastery somewhere else). I hadn’t considered this as an option but as the Two Blondes offspring have all more or less left home (some are boomerangs), I will put it on the agenda for our next meeting.
Saint Dionysius the Aeropagite – now that name is a handful so I hope that the good saint won’t mind my rather modern abbreviation of his name to St D of A. Like me, most of you probably don’t know what/where/who an Aeropagite is so I looked it up. The Areopagus was a place in ancient Athens which acted as a court of appeal for criminal appeals. St D of A was a big figure there and was converted to Christianity by St Paul. I have chosen him as a Blondes Saint because he is good at repelling the devil – and Dartmoor, if you believe the map, is covered in sites where the devil has lived, been buried, danced and generally wreaked havoc.
Saint Christopher – this chap is much more well known and was recommended to me many times by my Grandfather who would tell us to “Go with St Christopher”. I am ashamed to say that I have never looked him up before but now I understand what Grandy was trying to tell us. I knew that Saint Christopher was the patron saint of travellers but what is interesting is that he loved wandering and adventure. If you couple that with the time he spent helping people (and Jesus) to cross rivers (something I hate doing) then he becomes the perfect Saint for the Two Blondes.
There were many other candidates, too many for a blog post but I have listed a few more possibilities just in case you fancy looking them up for yourselves.
St Medard of Noyen – Weather – Once sheltered from the rain under an eagle’s wing
St Paul – Tent Makers – No-one likes a leaky tent
St Anthony of Padua – Lost Things – Just in case our navigation skills fail
St Florian of Lorch – Firefighters – For no other reason than I like uniforms!
My Mum used to say that I could make a saint swear! I don’t know what I did to upset them my Mum didn’t say so I haven’t got any suggestions. I keep my head down as I wouldn’t want to make anyone grumpy!
That St Christopher is not reliable I’m afraid. I had a St Christopher which I used to wear around my neck day in day out. For some reason I took it off and didn’t put it back on for a while. Then one day I came across it and thought “Oooo, I haven’t been wearing you” and put it back on. Later in the day we went out and had a car crash. I’ve never worn it since!!!!
I think maybe it was a punishment for forgetting about him for a bit!!
Sorry Blonde2, Christopher was de-bagged a few years ago. Apparently a review/audit decided he didn’t really do Saintly things. So no-go there.
For bruises, I would support St. Arnica!
Oh dear, poor old St Chris. He was supposed to have carried Jesus across a river – maybe he dropped him in it and there has been a cover up.
Following on my Mum taught me not to swear and I don’t but I did manage to make my Mum swear so she must be a saint!
All mothers are saints – therefore I must be Saint Blonde Two. Patron saint of bimbles. Saint Blonde One is of course, the patron saint of Jelly Babies.