By: Blonde Two

I am wondering how many of you know what a listicle is. I didn’t until quite recently which is ironic considering I have been writing them for some time (here is a Blonde example). Listicle is a portmanteau word, i.e. a word made up of the bits of two other words. In listicle’s case the two parent words were ‘list’ and ‘article’. A listicle is basically a blog post or article written in the form of a list. You know the type of thing:

1. ‘The six best reasons to get outside this winter.’
2. ‘Our five favourite Dartmoor routes.’
3. ‘Blonde adventurers we admire.’

‘Listicle’ made it into the Oxford English Dictionary in June 2016 alongside ‘big-arsed’ (which is surely two words), glamper (which is another portmanteau word) and micronation (see Bumbunga, Forvik and the Glacier Republic). Listicle had a party to celebrate. It invited:

1. ‘The six most interesting English words.’
2. ‘Five untranslatable languages.’
3. ‘Three countries that can’t spell.’

I believe that I have invented (alongside another outdoorsy friend) something much more exciting than the listicle. This is going to take the blogging world by storm and make us lots of money (or get us into lots of trouble). It is… (cue drum roll)… THE RANTICLE.

This man is writing a RANTICLE. Any moment now, steam will come out of his ears.

The ranticle is the type of article/email/blog you write and then ask someone else to check because you know that you have poured all of your topic-related venom into it. For example around these Devon parts there are bound, at the moment, to be hoards of usually taciturn people who have written, in their own blood, clandestine midnight ranticles and hidden them under floorboards and behind mirrors. These ranticles will be about the proposed developments at Bantham Beach.

I wrote a ranticle once and forgot the bit about asking someone else to check it. That really didn’t go very well!