By: Blonde Two

It comes to something when you need a map to go to the toilet doesn’t it? Imagine what a toilet map would look like though. If you go with the Ordnance Survey style (and we see no reason not to), a toilet map would include the following features:

  • Contour lines to show how high the toilet is (this eventually becomes important to all of us)
  • Blue symbols to label important areas (blue because there is lots of water in a toilet)
  • ‘Danger Area’ signs for possible smelly places
  • Yellow roads (not actual yellow) to show access points
  • Interesting place names such as ‘Piddlepot’, ‘Squeezestool’, and ‘Sit Ye Down’

In truth, this blog post isn’t supposed to be about maps for toilets at all (I got sidetracked by an idea there). Instead I wanted to talk about maps IN toilets (not in the actual bowl, wiping your bottom with a map should be illegal).

Not-at-all-Blonde is home from university for Christmas and to celebrate we went for lunch to our favourite cafe in Totnes. As well as the fabulous ‘help yourself’ vegetarian food bar and the most excellent coffee, what we both particularly like about Seeds in Totnes is the toilet wallpaper, the walls of this small but efficient room are all covered in old Ordnance Survey maps. Not only that, but Not-at-all-Blonde and I have discovered that this navigational toilet area has been decorated with maps entirely personal to us. Sit down on the loo (mid size, not too many contour lines needed) and glance to the right and you will see Dartmoor, scan around to the left and you will find both my Dad’s house in St Germans and my Mum’s house in Malvern.

If I ever forget where I need to go next, I will simply eat a delicious and healthy dinner at Seeds, wait for nature to take its course and have a sitting down study of their wallpaper!