By: Blonde Two

I tell you what, they should get more London kids down our Dartmoor way doing Ten Tors. You have to be pretty tough to survive around here.  My explorations (and a shopping rip for a special purchase for Blonde One) have worn me out more than any moor walk could do.  Let me explain the similarities:

You don’t think that you are going to be walking far in London because everyone knows that the tube is fantastic and takes all the overground stress and distance out of your journey.  This is true but even going on the tube, you have to walk a lot.  You could write a route card on for (take today’s example) the journey from Earl’s Court to Olympia;

There is the distance – along platforms, moving on down the train and farting (actually, I have discovered that a lot of people in London pass wind on the tube) around outside the tube station because you are completely disorientated after a subterranean trip.

There are the bearings (direction) – on the tube, this is simple, just follow the right colour and swap when you fancy a change (keep getting Piccadilly wrong because I think it should be yellow like Piccalilli).  Overground, this is impossible and no matter where you try to go, you always end up in Trafalgar Square.  I like stone lions as much as the next Blonde but they are not so hot when you are trying to find a theatre.

There is the height gained – boy this seems like a lot.  Talk about climbing every mountain! I haven’t forded any streams or followed any rainbows (unless you count the lights in Leicester Square) but the metal mountains were enough.  On top of these there have been endless stairs with sticky handrails and lifts that tell you lies about which way you should be walking out.

There are a few escape routes – I have tried not to think about the lack of these as I have descended into the depths.  On one particularly long escalator, there is a helpful notice about how many people have been injured and died in escalator incidents.  Great for the nerves!

There are river crossings – I am not talking about the Thames here but about the fact that I have found another Blonde Two “crossing” issue.  I can’t cross London roads without Mr Blonde Two to drag me across.  When he is there, I just close my eyes and let him guide me but I had to build in “crossing” time for my journey leg from the restaurant to the theatre tonight (it was right opposite).

London is fabulous and I am having a lovely time but it definitely isn’t a rest cure and I think Devon is going to feel very peaceful when I get back tonight.  See you there!