By: Blonde Two

Today I have decided to don my science hat (if I can find it) and introduce you to three very important scientific laws that exercise considerable influence over anyone who works in or enjoys the outdoors. You may have heard of the three laws of thermodynamics, in particularly the second law, which relates to chaos and its inexorable approach. You may not, however, be familiar with another three laws, which relate to outdoor underwear and the way it interacts with the environment (namely you and your other clothes). Allow me to present…

The three laws of thermal-dynamics

The First Law of Thermal-Dynamics

Any thermal top that was tucked into its corresponding thermal bottoms will not be in this state after approximately 15 minutes of walking.

The Second Law of Thermal-Dynamics

Any thermal top that is of synthetic material will emit enough static sparks to light up the tent when (if) you take it off at night.

The Third Law of Thermal-Dynamics

When viewed in the mirror, any pair of thermal bottoms worn underneath walking trousers will add a disproportionate amount of bulk to your midriff.


You can call me Professor Blonde if you would like to!