By: Blonde Two
Words can be such fun!
So much so that we Blondes have decided to invent a few of our own (outdoor ones of course)!
Mapstraction
When you plan a walk but it takes three times as long as it should to complete because your map has led you to exciting features such as holes in the ground or missing hut circles.
‘We had to walk back to the car in the dark because we got so mapstracted.’
Expedoorstepping
Setting off on a very short but often intriguing expedition that starts at your own house and explores your locality.
‘I found this tree whilst I was expedoorstepping yesterday.’
Hillfull thinking
When, after planning copious mountain routes for a trip, you realise that you were over-imagining your ability to cross contour lines at any sort of speed.
‘I only got half way up… It must have been hillfull thinking when I planned that route!’
Campimosity
When you have bagged the quietest spot on the campsite and Mr Noisy pitches right next to you.
‘I prefer wild camping… far less likely to induce campimosity.’
Hillaxing
When you make it to the top of a hill and have time to lie back and stare at the sky before you head down again.
‘I hillaxed for so long, a slug crawled up my nose!’
Binviromental
A state in which you are so fed up with seeing litter on the floor that you start picking it all up.
‘Blonde Two came over all binviromental and picked up the pistachio shells from the car park floor.’
Frekkie
An abbreviation of ‘first breakfast’. Usually taken at camp, whilst still in a sleeping bag and after not very much sleep at all.
‘After a frekkie of crisps and squashed cheese, we decided to sekkie at the cafe.’
Seaspeaking
When you swim in the sea so often that you start talking to it.
‘Stop it, that’s naughty!’ seaspoke Blonde Two after swallowing her second wave of the morning.
Sloping mat
Similar to a sleeping mat but balanced on a rucksack, six pairs of socks and a dry bag to counteract a sideways tent-angle.
‘B1 kept sliding off her sloping mat in the middle of the night.’
Yesties
Friends who say ‘yes’ to any number of strange outdoor ‘shall we’ type requests and therefore become your best friends.
‘B2 wasn’t surprised when her yesties all wanted to dance bare foot in the snow with her.’
Mystent – the weird feeling you get when you realise you’ve gone past your wild-camping tent in the dark and have absolutely no idea which boulder it is behind.
Suffering from mystent, Starfire was certain something was hiding behind the next rock. (There was – a mountain sheep loomed up, staring at her suspiciously in the dark.)