By: Blonde Two
After Tuesday’s blog post about being ageless and Monday’s reference to brunette spies there was a suggestion in some of our comments that the Two Blondes should pay some consideration to wrinkles and silvering hair. I would like to state publicly that neither Blonde is worried in the slightest about these two womanly states – contrary to popular belief, we are only human (well, maybe just that little bit Goddess but mostly human).
No matter how long our blogging life lasts, neither Blonde One or Blonde Two will ever comment in public on the absence or presence of either of these dignified signs of ageing. We have a “wrinkles and hair colour” pact which will always stand. Two Blondes United (have you ever noticed how easy it is to type “untied” instead of “united”)
Imagine though, if you will (we had quite a giggle doing so), day far, far into the future when the Two Blondes are no longer fair of hair and have Bimbled their way into quiet maturity (I preferred elderlitude here but it apparently is not a real word – difficult to tell sometimes when you make so many up). We will still have our blog of course but our adventures will be of a different nature, more gentle maybe but almost certainly still as silly.
twogreyswalking.com will only use black and white images. The text will be in an uninteresting font; Times New Roman or Helvetica but never, ever Comic Sans. If Comic Sans ever appears, you will know that we have lost control of our faculties and wandered our way into senility. We will still go on Bimbles but they will be flat ones, the Princetown Railway line (disused still I hope), Pork Hill car park to Windy Post or, on an active day, maybe even the Plume of Feathers to South Hessary Tor. Our blog posts will be long and use too many silly, over-descriptive, uninteresting, unimaginative, unoriginal adjectives. We will gush about meeting young men (of 65) out on the “hills” but avoid the word “gush” altogether when out walking more than 200 metres away from a decent height toilet. I hope that someone has invented black and white Jelly Babies by then because we will have to resort to Werther’s Originals if not.
In many ways, I hope we Two Blondes become Two Greys one day and continue to entertain. A gentle kick in the false teeth maybe for the culture of youth that we find ourselves in. I did look to see if the domain name was available. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it is. I am having to resist the temptation of adding it to the Blonde collection!
“use too many silly, over-descriptive, uninteresting, unimaginative, unoriginal adjectives.” Can’t help but feel this is war.
Seeing as approximately 50% of the descriptive language that you use has me scurrying for a dictionary, I think you may have already won the war Mr R. But if this is a battle, let’s turn it into a novel one day!
No, I can’t leave things with that stark bitter-sounding comment. This post, like many others, is a great work of imagination dotted with Product Placements that prove you are (a) writing well, (b) making money – an unbeatable combination. I am going to make a recommendation: be deaf to all people who make recommendations. About your writing, that is; as to your Blondeness – prolong it as long as you can. But slap down those who offer guidance, cite outmoded syntactical rules, refer wearisomely to their own non-achievements, use their age as if it were synonymous with wisdom, who may decorate their own blogs with selfies thirty years out of date. Worst of all: who practise a perverted form of regionalism. These are the blogistic equivalent of what previously was identified as the Man-In-A-Dirty-Raincoat syndrome. Stay true to your uncorrupted Blondeness even when it has become Greyness, then Baldness, then Headlessness. When you can no longer walk – haunt!
On a personal note I went grey in my thirties and have passed through all those stages – and more! – listed above. I can personally recommend – Ah, there I go again! – the interim state where the body departs and the head remains. On good night people mistook me for a Chinese lantern. Except for the Roman nose, that is.
“When you can no longer walk – haunt!” That had me laughing out loud at a very inappropriate time (perhaps that will teach me to not look at the blog at inappropriate times). So funny! I like collecting phrases and that’s definitely one of my favourites.
Another favourite of mine is “never walk backwards”. What would happen if we combined the two: “when you can never walk backwards – …..”
Silver is fun – especially when choosing the new hair colour; going ginger (gradually) doesn’t just change the colour of the hair – it changes the colour of the personality and releases inhibitions, if one is lucky!
He words me, girls, he words me.