By: Blonde Two
As I was leaving the house yesterday afternoon, I thought that I was being invaded by a pack of purple t-shirted UKIP representatives. I can’t think of many things that would be worse, so I hurried to the car but as I was driving off, I realised that they were actually one of many groups of young (very young) farmers and their buxom (very buxom) young ladies who visit my home town once a year.
Driving through town, there were group after group of them, all in different bright coloured shirts indicating where they were from and what they wanted to say to the world.
I liked seeing them, despite the fact that they were already raucous at five o’clock and walking in the road in front of my car. I liked seeing them because they were proud to proclaim who they were and what they represented. I like seeing our ‘Orange Boys’ out on the moors too. We call them the ‘Orange Boys’ because they are so proud of the Orange Hoodies that they wore for Ten Tors last year, that they find any excuse to wear them. Believe me, they earned them.
We are all, I think, a bit reluctant to admit to liking this type of labelling. I have tops that proclaim: I am a Scout leader, I am a University Graduate, I am a Kayaker, I am a Ten Tors manager, I am a DofE leader, I am a Blonde! Every single one is earned and I am proud of all of them. I got them all out to show you and it made me feel quite emotional. Mr B2 did the same with his cycling t-shirts and somewhere, we have a whole load of Ten Tors tops that Six-Foot-Blonde will never fit into again.
All this is very interesting when you consider how much time youngsters spend telling us that they hate school uniform! I want to say something pithy and sarcastic about academies and the costs of rebranding/new uniform/new school-names here … but I had better not!
Nothing worse? Oh yes you could. Imagine discovering you were being scrutinised through binoculars by our unhealthy-looking Chancellor.
Not sure he would be able to get close enough to view us. Is it really bad to admit that I had to look him up then?
Not at all. Being able to see the name Osborne (worse still, his bee-sting lips) and not react viscerally must be bliss indeed. Blessed and blissed, that’s what you are Blonde Two. Destined to join the Heavenly Hosts when you keel over on a stony path, prematurely at age 104, a nuclear powered compass grasped between your fingers.
You are so right about the nuclear compass Roderick. By then, the Two Blondes will have mastered fusion and become one, all-powerful being …
When I finished my Lamds End John ‘oGroats walk I bought a polo shirt with a Scotland emblem largely because I was getting on the bus to Inverness and still wearing a shirt that had done 77 days. I also bought a Welsh red dragon T shirt at the end of my Welsh border walk for similar reasons. Like you I am proud of both.
And so you should be proud Conrad. More people should be proud; we are, after all, amazing!
I remember being very sad when I reached the eastern end of the Southern Upland Way and the little shop didn’t even have a postcard I could buy for a souvenir; but I’m very proud of my “Peewit” tee-shirt with a lovely picture of one, that I used to wear on my boat, and my “Skipper” and “Ancient Mariner” caps – not to mention “Starfire” and RNARS sweatshirts – – – good grief, what a lot of rubbish I keep! Never mind – the next generation will enjoy chucking it all away!