By: Blonde Two
I feel like the queen doing this – you may call me your Royal Blondness.
Here is a pre-recorded message on behalf of Blonde Two who is currently otherwise engaged on Dartmoor. Let’s paint a picture for a minute – Blonde Two is still tucked up in her cosy new Big Orange (sleeping bag), door of the tent tied open, cup of tea in hand, lying listening to the twitter of bird song as the sunshine warms her face.
This scene has never yet happened but we can live in hope. The reality is probably more like this … Blonde Two is woken up by the inevitable sound of rain thundering on the tent and a painfully full bladder. She gets up and manoeuvres herself out of the tent backwards – this is the only way her knees will work first thing in the morning. She has to walk a considerable distance in the rain to find a spot to relieve herself. This proves very difficult as round every corner, bush and rock there is a teenage boy doing exactly the same thing.
Blonde Two will have a fuzzy mouth due to not daring to partake of liquids all evening and will drink all of her water only to realise that she needs some for a cup of tea and to rehydrate her porridge. She will stagger down to the stream/leat to fetch some and get back to the smell of bacon and eggs. The bacon and eggs will belong to the kids and they will not share so Blonde Two will have to make do with porridge and a cold scotch egg (only at camp would this be ok).
Blonde Two will be the last to pack up and will inevitably struggle to get her soggy tent back into its miniscule bag. The kids will be standing around waiting for her and she will be the last back on the minibus which, despite smelling of cold pizza and wet socks, will feel like home for the weekend.
You should try it sometime, Blonde Fans – it really is life affirming – honestly! Hopefully I will be back in person tomorrow … have a lovely day.
I feel every part of this…two weeks to go and it’ll be me at Huccaby!
We saw some happy campers today as we drove past Huccaby.
Good Morning Blonde two!
I hope you are enjoying watching the glorious Dartmoor sunrise from the entrance of your palatial residence on the side of the hill as you brush your feet in the luxurious soft grass warmed in the heat of the morning sun! ( A scene from Two Blondes the Movie).
Now back to reality!
You have painted such a wonderful picture of a typical camp on Dartmoor that I have considered going back to bed! Why!
I am surrounded by friends who choose to wild camp on the side of a hostile mountain in Winter where the contents of their water bottles freeze and struggle desperately to make it through the night! Go to the Cairngorms in February and spend a week trying to stay alive and then crave to go back and do it all again!
I don’t do extreme cold but I do insist on setting the alarm clock at some ridiculous time of the morning looking at all the houses with their curtains tightly drawn as the people inside are soundly snoring away in their warm beds and then proceed to force my body up some horrendous vertical slope which makes your body think you are going in to cardiac arrest, then to slog for a couple of hours finally to arrive at the top of some peak and as your body cools down to suddenly find that all the layers you have taken off need to be quickly put back on or else be in danger of suffering from Hypothermia! After recovering you then proceed to repeat this process for another 5 hours to finally struggling down a knee bending slope to arrive limping at the bottom and desperate for a soft seat! Then what happens?
Well you wake up the next day and for some insane reason you want to do it all over again! Why do we do it!
Why couldn’t I have joined the Caravan Club? Taken up canal boating? Chosen some activity which really does merit the title of Leisure??
I don’t know! I just know we love doing what we do and will continue to do it no matter how much suffering we experience!
We will always say ” Where shall we go next?”
I am limping around the lounge now we are home and it will take a couple of days for my knees to work properly again. But you are right, we do it because … we love it. No other explanation.
Knitting would be easier though.
I was woken up by the sun – at least I thought I was until I looked out and saw very little through the fog!!! Hopefully its coastal and up on the moor you are in fact shrouded in beautifully warm rays of march sunshine! Miracles do happen!!! Whatever, I’m sure deep down you are loving it and at least you have your wonderful new bright orange down sleeping bag keeping you warm (i hope!!!). Have a super day xx
Speaking from the heart – I am knitting a jumper. I’ve been knitting it now for 17 years. I’ve been spinning the wool for it for 18 years. It’s definitely not as easy as walking – I’ve completed several walks in that time. But one day I shall finish it and if the moths haven’t eaten the first bit while I was knitting the rest, I may even get to wear it in my little tent.
Meanwhile, I hope the knees are progressing well, and you didn’t get frost bite, or meet the wild beast of the moor.
Point taken with the knitting – I am secretly rather a good knitter but have only spun once (did enjoy it). No frost bite and knees are working again now (they weren’t last night). Funny story about wild beast but will tell that one later.