By: Blonde Two
I have to confess to being a fair-weather rugby fan. As the weather is rarely fair in the UK, I don’t often feel the urge to watch it; but I have managed to be in sunny New Zealand twice during the World Cup now, and each time have felt the flow of national pride suck me into appreciation (not just of the tree-trunk sized legs you understand!)
I have learnt a few things about rugby:
a) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
b) All Blacks are not the same thing as All Whites, Black Sticks or Silver Ferns.
c) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
d) It is okay to open the pubs at seven in the morning so that the masses can watch matches in appropriate surroundings.
e) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
f) It really is quite rude to sing ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’ during a haka.
g) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
h) Dave Dobbin (yep, real name of a real singer) has previously jinxed rugby tournaments with his ‘supportive’ songs.
i) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
j) The Kiwis are very good at taking the mickey out of themselves. Example 2015 song link here.
k) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
l) A ‘big unit’ is a tall forward with elephant-sized buttocks; not to be confused with ‘Big Eunice’ who sells knitting at the Parnell market.
m) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
n) The Kiwis don’t really like our ‘Hakarena‘. The haka has considerable spiritual importance to a lot of people in a lot of places.
o) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
p) A sin bin is not a fun place to be, and you will get booed if you go there.
q) Rugby is VERY VERY important.
r) Even if you are a pom, it is not really okay to want England to win; nor should you whistle ‘Swing Low’ whilst walking up the street. You should hope instead that France crashes and burns; and share in New Zealand’s joy at the Japanese beating the Springboks (what a match!)
s) RUGBY IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT!